dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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