I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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