David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Never underestimate the power of titties
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