just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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