So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
