OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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