you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
