help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
