I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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