I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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