kristin has been a bad kristin
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
