What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize