Umm I'm too high to move.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize