we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
