Duck Duck Cougar?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
