I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
