I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
