found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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