moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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