I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Randomize
