oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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