Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
