And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Mom said you looked used
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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