Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
