I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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