idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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