Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
