he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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