I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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