You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sarcasm needs its own font
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
