He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
