Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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