Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
