yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
