like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
