so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Randomize
