You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
