We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize