Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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