You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
