dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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