the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
