At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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