Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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