so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
