But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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