i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
