You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
