Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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