Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
