Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
