Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
