boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
