The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
