do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize