i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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