Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
