there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
