I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
