ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
