she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
