Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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