I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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