That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
