shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
