never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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